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<![CDATA[Quick Results Counseling (QRC) (415).625.5888 - Blog]]>Sat, 11 May 2024 14:46:06 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[What to Look for in a Bay Area Therapist]]>Mon, 17 May 2021 22:22:52 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/what-to-look-for-in-a-bay-area-therapist

Choosing the right Bay Area therapist is more than just pulling up some profiles online and picking from the local options. After all, it's important that you're comfortable in your sessions, that you're committed to the process and that you're open and willing to work with your therapist. Therapy often involves discussing sensitive issues, and possibly even things that you've never told anyone else before, so your comfort level can play a big role in the success of your therapy sessions.
Not only do you need to find a therapist that you can share your thoughts and feelings with, but you'll also need to find someone that you'll listen to, as well. And with so much at stake, that search for the perfect Bay Area therapist can seem overwhelming. It's hard to make a decision based on a picture and a short bio, and with countless options online, that search could take forever. But the good news is that you don't have to find the perfect therapist -- just one that resonates with you.

Finding a Bay Area Therapist
Whether it's been suggested that you see a therapist or you've identified some issues that you want to work on, finding a therapist can be a challenging endeavor. Some people may click immediately with their new therapist while others may take some time to warm up to the process. Then there are the recommendations that you may receive from family or friends -- however, your issues are unique and whether or not someone had success with a given Bay Area therapist says little about whether your experience would be the same.
Regardless of how great a therapist is and what they've done for others, you'll still have to click with your therapist. The connection between you and your therapist is important, and the more comfortable you feel discussing and listening, the more you'll get out of your therapy sessions. Indeed, the stronger the relationship between you and your therapist, the better it is for everyone involved.

The Power of Goal Alignment
Beyond the connection to your therapist, you'll also want to ensure that you and your therapist are aligned on goals and methodologies. If you're expecting to have a few sessions and then move on with your life, that won't work if your therapist wants you to come in three times a week for years. You may go with it at first, but in the long run your suspicions about the approach can sour the process, even if it may eventually end up being helpful.
Generally, both the therapist and patient need to respect and like each other. You'll be spending quite a bit of time together discussing your life, emotions and relationships, and that's infinitely more difficult when one or both sides isn't invested in treatment.
In fact, the American Psychological Association found that the success of therapy is based more on the therapeutic relationship than the type of therapy practiced, which means the who matters a lot more than the what, though we'd be remiss if we didn't mention that it all matters to some degree. Ideally, it's the therapist's job to monitor interactions and to determine whether things are going well, though patients should feel free to voice their concerns at any time.

What's Important to You?
If certain factors are important -- such as gender, age, race or religion -- you'll want to incorporate that into your search for a Bay Area therapist. If you would feel uncomfortable with a therapist from the opposite sex, or someone that is significantly younger or older than you, it's important to acknowledge that in your search. Some patients may even try to envision the type of person that they would want to talk to, using that to guide their search.
But if you don't have a preference, that's fine, too. Many therapists will provide a complimentary discovery call to see if there's a good fit. In it, you're free to ask any questions about approach or background -- whatever helps you make a decision. There's usually some kind of questionnaire where you can indicate what's important to you, or you can bring it up during that call.
If the therapist that you were assigned to ends up not working out -- don't fret! You can often get a quick referral to one of their colleagues, or you're free to start your search again if you'd like to go in a different direction.

The Importance of Credentials
Finding a Bay Area therapist can be confusing if you're not up to date on what those letters and acronyms mean after each name. You don't need to be an expert on the different mental health accreditations, but knowing what each one stands for can help you during your search. Here are some common credentials that you may come across:

LMFT - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
LMHC - Licensed Mental Health Counselor
LCSW - Licensed Clinical Social Worker
LCDC - Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor
NCC - National Certified Counselor
LPC - Licensed Professional Counselor
PsyD - Doctor of Psychology
MD - Doctor of Medicine

While the exact licensure may not be that relevant to your need, the important thing is that your therapist is a licensed mental health professional that follows certain guidelines and adheres to a certain code of ethics. Keep in mind that therapy is not life coaching, and unlike life coaches, who may have no training, specialized education or oversight, licensed therapists are actually trained to help you.
In addition to a licensing test, a therapist must also pass a background test, meet certain obligations and keep up with their continuing education. But the real value to you as a patient is their area of expertise. Their bio should give you insight into the kinds of issues and approaches they work with, though it can be a good idea to follow up once you have them on the phone.

The Quick Results Counseling Way
Here at Quick Results Counseling, we believe that everyone deserves compassion and empathy in mental health treatment. Whether you've avoided therapy because of difficulty in finding the right Bay Area therapist or you're worried that cultural, racial, ethnic, religious or sexual diversity may make it hard to get the help you need, we're here for you. We believe that effective therapy is about getting to the root of the matter -- not checking in endlessly about the minutia of the previous week. See how our Bay Area therapists can help you by scheduling a free 30 minutes phone consultation.

]]><![CDATA[Good Relationship Advice No One Tells You]]>Mon, 03 May 2021 07:00:00 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/good-relationship-advice-no-one-tells-you

Every relationship needs work. Sometimes things are great. Sometimes they're decidedly less so. But the ebbs and flows are a normal part of healthy relationships, and you're bound to hit rocky roads at some point. The important thing is to talk it out and not let those lingering issues fester. Besides, the more you talk, the more you'll understand where your partner is coming from, as well as what you might be able to do to help so that you can have a happier, more fulfilling relationship with your better half.
But that doesn't mean blowing up at the slightest issue. There are constructive and harmful ways to communicate with your partner, and for any of it to work, you'll both have to work at it. That means listening in addition to speaking your mind, and knowing when you may need the mediating professionalism of a relationship counselor. Some couples are great at communicating while others may need a third party to ensure that each side gets their say, but regardless of where you sit, here's some good relationship advice to bring to the table.

Don't Be a Pushover
Some people believe that not rocking the boat is the most important part of being in a long-term relationship. But if you don't speak your mind, your partner may take you for granted or think that you're okay with how things are going. If you're not, that could lead to an abusive dynamic where only the needs of one is considered. Over the long haul, it could also mean growing apart instead of growing together, which is exactly the opposite of what you're trying to do by going with the flow. By speaking your mind and speaking up when something bothers you, you'll be asserting yourself in your relationship, and that can do wonders for a strong and balanced relationship dynamic.

Be Aware of Relationship Patterns
Good relationship advice is more than just communicating more and speaking your mind. Many couples may have the same fight over and over, albeit under different situations, because of common patterns that we fall into. Sometimes it can be an attempt to test boundaries or to see if something different may pan out this time around, but until you can identify the traps of patterned behavior, you may be doomed to repeat it. The good news is that if you're both on the lookout for patterns, you can use that to increase your understanding and growth, and to work with your partner to move beyond it.

Closeness Is Not Intimacy
Many people may confuse closeness with intimacy, but they're not the same thing. Closeness speaks to your comfort level with your partner and how secure and familiar the relationship is. For the most part, closeness is also largely unspoken. Intimacy, on the other hand, is almost the opposite. It's about being in the moment, spontaneity, taking new risks and surprising your partner with new and exciting things to do and experience together. A relationship with all intimacy and no closeness -- as well as all closeness and no intimacy -- is not a sustainable and strong relationship. Good relationship advice dictates that there should be a healthy balance of closeness and intimacy, which is something all couples should strive for.

Be Compassionate, Not Confrontational
It's inevitable that you and your partner will have disagreements from time to time. You might even seriously hurt your partner's feelings or vice versa. But if something like that should happen, one piece of good relationship advice is that you should approach any argument or disagreement with empathy and compassion. When your partner sees that you understand where they're coming from and your role in it all, you'll be able to get beyond the issue and overcome feelings of resentment by replacing them with a stronger bond. That can help repair the relationship in a less-than-ideal situation, and the bridges that you build with your partner will strengthen the relationship.

It's Okay To Be Angry, but Don't Lash Out
Some couples may elect to stuff that anger deep down inside, never confronting the issues that are jeopardizing their relationship. But it's okay to be angry. Use that anger to make positive changes in your life or your relationship. After determining what's wrong, you can then identify what needs to change and how you can bring about that change. If it's something that your partner's doing, talk it out. If it's something that your partner wouldn't want you to do, tell them, and talk about the double standard. If you lash out or direct your anger at your partner, you'll likely only be driving them away, which will make it harder to have that conversation and move past it in the first place.

Embrace Your Partner (Literally and Figuratively)
With everything that you and your partner have on your plates these days, it can be difficult to slow things down and take a minute for your relationship. A simple hug or some dedicated time where you and your partner can spend some time together can do wonders for a relationship. Despite our best intentions, it's too easy to not give your partner the attention that they deserve, though it's not hard to take time out of the day to invest in your relationship. Whether your partner just needs a hug or some quality time together, it's always great to feel love, and it can help you nurture your relationship, especially if your better half is feeling scorned or unloved.

Dedicate Time to the Tough Discussions
If you're trying to have that big, knock-down and drag-out fight when your partner is on the way out to work or as you're driving home -- there's no point. You'll never be able to say all the things you want to say, and the only thing you'll do is create a sense of animosity or resentment for the timing of it all. Instead, a piece of good relationship advice is to make time for those important discussions. Or, if a discussion you're having is running long and either you or your partner have to be somewhere else, you can always pause the discussion for picking up later. That way you can move past the argument and get back to life and return when the timing works.
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If you've been having more arguments and disagreements with your partner lately and you're falling into the same patterns, you may need the good relationship advice of a professional. Book an in-person or online appointment today and get a free, 45-minute consultation call.

]]><![CDATA[Strong Emotional Resilience Activities for Kids]]>Mon, 05 Apr 2021 07:00:00 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/strong-emotional-resilience-activities-for-kids

Anyone who spends time around children knows that they're capable of just about anything. With wonder for the world and all the things in it, it doesn't take much to pique a child's interest or to challenge their curiosity, as long as they're given adequate space and the time to experience it at a rate that works best for them. Indeed, the potential for greatness and happiness is inherent in each child, especially when they're encouraged and nurtured to seek out rewarding behaviors and pursuits.
But, unfortunately, kids aren't immune to the challenges of life. Stress, tragedy or trauma can keep kids from engaging in activities that they enjoy, as well as activities that they may learn to enjoy. Resilience is about bouncing back when life hits you with something unexpected, and when children are resilient, there's no limit to what they can accomplish in the world.

How Resilience Affects the Brain
Before we get to different resilience activities for kids that you can use to help get your child back on track, it's important to know how resilience affects the brain and why it's valuable. In a nutshell, resilience is what makes us stronger after a bout of stress or adversity. That's because the body physically changes during trying times, increasing our heart rate, sending our blood pressure up and flying adrenaline and cortisol through the bloodstream.
In the short term, that can be positive. If, say, you're confronted by a wild animal, it can give you the focus and energy to get away safety. In sports, it can lead you to find strength you never know you had. But when the stress is ongoing, it can actually rid the body of energy while you languish in this heightened state. Over a prolonged period of time, it can actually start to weaken the immune system, as well as the body and brain itself.
With enough stress, the prefrontal cortex -- which is responsible for attention, problem solving, impulse control and emotion -- may actually shut down temporarily, allowing you to focus more efficiently. Resilience empowers you to reactivate the prefrontal cortex, giving you the ability to adapt or find a solution that may not be acknowledged by that unreliable fight-or-flight response.

Can Resilience Be Taught or Changed?
Some think that kids are either resilient or not. But those that are most resilient are often those that have faced particularly challenging issues and came out on the other side. You may not be able to protect your child from the trials and tribulations of life, but you can show them the tools that they'll need to have a healthy relationship with stress and the things that affect their emotions and well-being.

In fact, resilience can even help re-wire the brain to be more capable in the face of various challenges by seeking out enriching and beneficial experiences that reinforce positivity instead of negative thoughts. Over the long haul, that can help turn a child into a resilient adult capable of handling whatever the world has in store for them.

How To Build Resilience in Children
By starting small, you can actually build resilience into a normal part of your child's life. While you may not be able to protect them against life's stressors, tragedies or traumas, you can show them how to pick themselves up if they fall down or stumble, which will help them develop into the person that they were meant to be.
Here are some resilience activities for kids that you can use whenever your child needs some support.

Support your child's relationships, not their independence. It can be tempting to leave a child that's suffering alone, especially if it doesn't look like they want to talk, but giving them too much alone time could backfire. Relationships with friends and family are vitally important when it comes to the emotional well-being of your child, and letting them stew in their own emotions when they're already overwhelmed can send them in the wrong direction.
Tell your child that it's okay to ask for help. They may not take you up on it right away -- or at all -- but just knowing that the option is there can help lift a child's spirits. If it's something that they can handle on their own, show them the way, but don't go so far as to do it for them.
Introduce games that highlight social behavior or memory. Instead of mindless video games where they can forget about life for a few hours, which may merely delay negative thoughts, encourage tactile or strategic games such as Monopoly, Risk or card-based games that can engage your child's thinking and reasoning centers, as well as nurturing real-life interactions with friends and family.
Encourage your child to exercise and play. If your child is largely sedentary, here's a resilience activity for kids that will get them up and moving -- send them outside! Whether it's kicking a ball around, riding a bike or just soaking up the afternoon sun, it's important to show your child that there's more to life than just being indoors all day. Exposure to the sun's rays will help boost their mood, and exercise is also proven to be a nice pick-me-up.
Nurture your child's optimism. When we're young we tend to think that anything's possible. But as we age, we lose sight of the positivity and optimism that frames much of our childhood. The glass isn't half empty, it's half full, and sometimes all it takes is a little bit of reframing to focus on the positive and avoid dwelling on the negative.
Show your child how to be resilient with your behavior. Didn't land that new job or had a setback at work? Talk to your child about it. This isn't the time to dump it on them, but to show them how you're looking to get beyond and what your plan is to bounce back and be better. They'll see that it's okay to have setbacks, but, more importantly, they'll see how you're moving forward, which can normalize that kind of approach.
Teach your child that problem-solving requires work. Most kids never see all the work that goes on behind the scenes to overcome obstacles and problems. That may leave them with an unrealistic view of how to move forward in the face of adversity. But if you teach them that even the greats have adversity to overcome, they'll be able to turn problems into challenges and challenges into successes.

If you have a child or teen that just can't seem to move forward no matter how much you encourage them, they may need professional help. Contact the experts at Quick Results Counseling for a free, 45-minute consultation call.

]]><![CDATA[Resilience Activities That Keep You Strong]]>Tue, 02 Mar 2021 08:00:00 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/resilience-activities-that-keep-you-strong

When the world has got you down, it can be hard to look past the immediacy of whatever is bothering you to think of better times. After all, life is full of peaks and valleys, and you're bound to encounter some positivity in short order. But in the moment, the good times can never come quickly enough.
What you need is resilience activities that can keep you strong. Instead of lingering on what's bothering you, this is the time to get to work. Working on a personal goal of yours or hanging out with a friend is a great way to move beyond negative thoughts, and before you know it things will be looking up again.
But don't think that resiliency is merely a matter of looking past the negative and focusing on the positive. Ignorance or disaffection isn't being resilient. Resilience is acknowledging the challenges that you've faced and working on building yourself back up.
Growing in the face of adversity and adapting to your situation is at the core of resilience, and just like a muscle, you can work on building your resilience one step at a time. They're known as resilience activities, and the more you engage in bettering yourself when faced with adversity, the better you'll be able to meet the challenges of life and succeed -- even after failing.

What is Resilience?
Like it or not, but life is full of challenges and various twists and turns that will test your resilience. From the death of a loved one to the end of a relationship or losing your job, traumatic events are a part of life. Everyone faces tough times at some point, and the way you deal with the challenges in life is a measure of your resilience.

Psychologically speaking, resilience is your ability to adapt when faced with trauma, adversity, tragedy, threats or stress. This can take shape as a health issue, financial problems or an issue with your significant other or a member of your family. Resilience is how you bounce back and move forward, not how well you ignore the issue and bury your head in the sand.

Sure, certain events and information can be painful and difficult to deal with, but they don't have to define who you are and where you're going in life. As the one in charge, you get to determine how these events shape who you are, and resilience activities are how you can do it.

Resilience Activities for You To Try

As the first line of defense against the challenges of life, one of the best resilience activities is to build your interpersonal connections and prioritize your relationships. By connecting with others that understand you, you'll discover that you don't have to struggle alone. Trustworthy and compassionate friends or family can help you get back on track if life's got you down, and accepting help and concern from the people in your life is an important step.
In addition to discussing your concerns with friends or family, joining a local support group is a great way to work through your challenges with others that are going through the same thing. Not only can a social support group help you reclaim hope, but other members may have some great ideas as to how you can move forward.
Exercise and eating well is another resilience activity that you can do if you're feeling down. Because stress is physical as well as emotional, you'll need to strengthen your body as much as you work on your mind. Proper sleep, a good diet and physical activity are all ways to adapt to stress and conflict in your life, and when you're doing right by your body, your mind will eventually follow.
Meditation, yoga, prayer or another spiritual exercise are also great resilience activities to help you strengthen the mind and build hope. If you're not one for silent self-reflection, journaling or creating a mood board can also help you better understand and more effectively deal with what you're facing.
Another resilience activity to try is to put yourself out there and help others. By putting someone else's needs in front of yours, you'll be able to build a sense of purpose and self-worth, both of which can help bolster your resilience.
When dealing with a particularly challenging event or situation, ask yourself how you can move forward. By digesting and analyzing your issue, you'll discover many ways that you can attack and move beyond the issue at hand. Don't make the mistake of trying to do everything at once, but breaking down a larger problem into manageable pieces can inspire you to take things one step at a time.
When facing a particularly challenging issue, establish tangible goals and then work towards them. Even small wins can build your resilience, so don't think that it's all or nothing. Goals that you can accomplish in a day or two are great confidence boosters, and after stringing together a few of them you'll be well on your way towards building your resilience.
Keeping perspective is another way to strengthen your resilience. No matter how bad you feel, feelings are often temporary. But if you're engaged in persistent negative thinking, you may inadvertently be sabotaging your resilience. Instead, think about how things will get better and how you'll be able to move beyond any issue.
If there's one thing that's true in life it's that things change. Accept the change and try to learn from it instead of spending all your emotional resources on dragging your feet. By focusing on what you can control, you'll better prepare yourself for life's eventual changes.
Staying positive can be a valuable resilience activity for those that are prone to negativity. Rather than carrying anxiety about the things you're fearful of, it's better to anticipate and think about positive outcomes, visualizing what you want instead of worrying about what you don't.
Let the past be your guide. While you don't want to always live in the past, you can use situations in your past to help you confront overwhelming scenarios in the present. By looking at how far you've come, you'll learn that you're still moving forward every day.

Do You Need Help?
If you have persistent negative thoughts and these resilience activities aren't helping, you may need professional help. Quick Results Counseling is here for you with mental health treatment in the Bay Area and beyond. From in person visits to convenient, online sessions, we're here to help with any mental health issue. Contact us to schedule a 45 minute free consultation.

]]><![CDATA[Good Mental Health Tips for a Fun Summer]]>Wed, 03 Feb 2021 08:00:00 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/good-mental-health-tips-for-a-fun-summer

After a long and chilly winter, summer can provide a nice respite from those short days and all that time spent indoors. But it can be even more important for your mental health. After all, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a real thing, coming on in the fall and continuing until winter lifts in the early spring. In fact, SAD therapy often utilizes light therapy to trick the body into thinking it's summer, though for some SAD may be an affliction that comes on in early spring or summer.
But whether or not you're suffering from the winter blues, it's important to get the most out of the summer months. Warm weather and longer days are great for getting out and enjoying the sun, and it's easy to engage in a myriad of fun activities when you're outside and living life -- it's also great for your mental health!

Get off the Couch and Get Outside
While it can be tempting to stay indoors after a long winter of doing just that, our first good mental health tip is to get off the couch and get outside. Even if it's just for a few minutes to read a book or to catch up on your favorite Netflix series, that little time in the sun will energize you and uplift your mood until you can get back to it tomorrow.

Take a Walk Outside
After spending much of your days inside, summer is a great time to get outside for a leisurely walk or a hike alone or with friends or family. Walking is a great activity that gets the muscles moving, and it's also a good way to clear your head or catch up with an old friend. At the end of your walk, you just might find that your mood has improved.

Visit Your Local Farmer's Market
For activities that get you out of the house and help you get your errands done, a good mental health tip is to check out your local farmer's market. Unlike grocery stores that are stuffy and filled with lots of rushing people that are themselves filled with anxieties, your local farmer's market is a great place to meet local food growers and real people that have a passion for what they do. Who knows -- you might even discover a great new food and start incorporating healthier options into your diet!

Start a Garden
If you have some unclaimed space out back or in front of your home, or even if there's a neighborhood garden in your area, gardening is a great way to get outside and into the sun. Furthermore, because you're learning how to care for plants and other foods, you'll gain an appreciation for where your food comes from in addition to watching out for your mental health.

Engage in Some Spring Cleaning
While it's easy to let your cleaning responsibilities go during the winter when shorter days make it harder to keep up, spring or summer is a great time to engage in a whole-home clean. Open up the windows as well as the blinds and bring some warm sun and crisp air inside. Cleaning might be annoying, but once you're done, you'll feel that sense of accomplishment and the calm and peacefulness that comes with having a clean home.

Make a Mixtape or Playlist
When summer hits, many of us turn to that summer music that makes you want to get outside and share fun times with friends and loved ones. And nothing gets the party started like a summer mixtape or playlist to get you moving and uplift your mood. A good mental health tip to take things to the next level is to incorporate exercise or cleaning into your music listening time.

Plan a Picnic
After months of cold and chilly weather, the summer is the perfect time to plan a picnic with family or friends. The sun will help lift everyone's mood while the good food, drinks and company are all things that are great for everyone's mental health. For bonus points, bring a Bluetooth speaker or pack the croquet set so that everyone can get up and moving, too.

Start a New Exercise Plan
When it's cold outside, the last thing on your mind might be to get some exercise in. But when warmer weather hits, walking, running, swimming and biking are excellent exercises to get the body up and moving and to set the mind right. Group sports like volleyball, soccer and touch-football are also great ways to get everyone out and having fun. Just don't forget the sunscreen!

Check Out Community Events
Most communities have many events happening each day, especially during the sunnier, warmer months when everyone is outside and looking for things to do. It's a good mental health tip for those that like to be around others, and community events are a nice way to discover new things and to meet new people. From outdoor movies to concerts and even outdoor workouts, there's something for everyone whenever the sun is out and shining.

Go Exploring
If you're new to an area or there's a part of town that you're unfamiliar with, summer is a great time to start exploring what your community has to offer. Grab a bike if you're trying to cover a large area, or just stick to walking if there are some new stores you've been itching to check out. Just getting out can be enough to lift your mood, and anything you discover while you're out and about is the icing on the cake.

Try Meditation
While there are many different forms of meditation out there, you don't have to ascribe to a specific one to clear your mind and focus on your mental health. Just find a clear, quiet spot outside and allow yourself to be truly present in the moment. Focus on your breathing and take note of any other sounds -- but don't dwell on them. This is your time to recharge, and after a few moments you'll start to feel your burdens lift away.

Brought To You by Quick Results Counseling
If these good mental health tips aren't working for you, you may be battling a serious mental health issue. Instead of hoping that things will get better, you can get the mental health help you need from Quick Results Counseling. With a diverse staff of mental health professionals, you don't have to suffer alone. Book your appointment today to schedule a free 45 minute consultation call.

]]><![CDATA[Essential Coping Skills for Kids]]>Mon, 04 Jan 2021 08:00:00 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/essential-coping-skills-for-kids

Does your kid frequently feel stressed to the point of getting in a bad mood — or worse, having a total mental breakdown?
Well, growing up is tough, but you as a parent can teach them coping strategies to make the process much easier.
In this article, we’ll teach you all about coping skills for kids: what they are, coping skill categories, and how to create a “Calm Down Kit” for your kid to use in a moment of panic.
So, read below and learn all there is to know about healthy coping skills for kids.
And whenever you need professional help, you can reach out to our Bay Area specialists.
Identify and Practice Coping SkillsFirst off, your child needs to learn what a coping skill is. And to learn that, they must identify activities in their day-to-day that act as coping skills.
In short, coping skills can be split into emotion-focused and problem-focused:

Emotion-focused coping skills soothe strong emotions and make them more tolerable (Example: a gaming session to unwind after a tough day)
Problem-focused coping skills solve issues and are more strategic (Example: a to-do list to organize your child’s homework)

As you may have noticed, your kid probably already has solid coping skills. They just don’t identify them as “coping skills” yet!
Talk with your child and ask them what they do to relieve stress, anxiety or depression. List these as emotion-focused coping skills.
Then, ask your kid how they deal with big problems in their lives, such as a school bully or even a tough school project. List these as problem-focused coping skills.
Once you have both lists, you and your kid will know how to identify coping skills! Now all you have to do is put them into practice.
This can be done by filtering the list and picking out the most effective and healthy coping skills. For example, going for a walk is a healthier coping skill than eating fast food.
It’s important for you to help your kid build up positive coping methods and toss out the unhealthy ones.
My Personal Coping Skills ListWe talked earlier about making two coping skills lists with your kid: one for emotion-focused and the other for problem-focused.
Now this is the next step: your kid needs to make their personal coping skills list. Here you can act as a guide, but it has to be their own work.
Let your kid decide their own set of personal coping tools that will help them navigate through life’s problems. It’ll be their resource to check out in a time of stress, anxiety or depression.
It can be printed out and pinned up in their room or even just a simple list in their phone’s notepad. The important thing is that your kid carries this resource with them and consults it whenever they need it.
Create a Calm Down KitNow let’s delve deeper into coping skills territory.
A Calm Down Kit works as an emergency toolbox. Think of it as a mechanic’s trusty toolbox, an asset that helps them solve any issue they face in their workday. Or even as a doctor’s emergency kit, ready to help out patients in need.
A Calm Down Kit will be a summarized list of coping skills your kid knows to put into action whenever a breakdown is imminent. It’s a quick fix to avoid a major issue.
For some people, deep breathing for 10 seconds is a classic, no-brainer coping skill to avoid a total meltdown.
Your kid will know what to do in a time of severe stress thanks to their Calm Down Kit. All you need to do as a parent is help them define what coping skills to include in the kit.
It’s got to be short and sweet, up to 3 coping skills max. The fewer choices to make in a time of need, the better (this avoids choice anxiety).
Then, your kid can write down the coping skills of their kit on a piece of paper or a phone notepad. This creates a feeling of “possession” of the Calm Down Kit, which also soothes your child — they’ll know that the kit’s there, ready to be used at all times.
After a while, your kid will have memorized the coping skills of the Calm Down Kit, which means they have fully mastered what to do whenever in a stressful or problematic situation.
Find out more about therapy for children and teenagers.
The Importance of Being ProactiveProactivity means to take action beforehand. In this case, it means planning ahead what coping methods to employ whenever a problem or stressful event is predicted.
For example, let’s say your kid gets anxious with math class. Math class is a predictable event: it has a time and place to happen.
That means your kid can plan beforehand what coping skill to employ to make math more tolerable, instead of ruminating or becoming anxious before class even starts.
Proactive coping skills are the path to mastering stress, anxiety or depression in a kid’s life. Instead of being reactive, they are proactive. They arrive prepared for the problem, instead of tackling it afterward.
It’s like a firefighter fireproofing a house instead of arriving quickly to douse the flames. Your kid will make problems easier by employing the correct coping skills beforehand.
But what’s the difference between proactive coping skills and the Calm Down Kit? The difference is that proactive coping skills avoid a problem from arising, while the Calm Down Kit contains quick fixes to avoid mental breakdowns.
So, that means a proactive kid will have fewer problems in their day-to-day with crippling emotions. Problems are a part of life, but it’s important your kid learns how to navigate them with the best coping skills available.
Learn more about how we can help your kids today!

]]><![CDATA[How to Prepare for Couples Counseling]]>Wed, 09 Dec 2020 19:40:19 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/how-to-prepare-for-couples-counseling

PictureA couple learning how to prepare for couples counseling

Whether you spend a good deal of time re-hashing the same fight over and over or there's some problem that you can't quite put your finger on, a different perspective can help. But counseling isn't the same as venting to a friend or loved one. It's real work, and if you and your partner take it seriously you'll be able to move forward and into the next stage of your relationship.
However, before you even schedule your first counseling appointment, it's a good idea to work with your partner on what you're looking to get out of counseling -- things such as what issues you'd like to work on as a couple and what the signs of success might look like. When you know what the goals are up front, it's easier to work towards them together, and it's also better for each of you individually when a shared goal can show the way.

Are you invested in therapy and the challenge of doing the work?

As you're wondering how to prepare for couples counseling, one of the first questions to ask yourself is whether you and your partner are committed to counseling. While this may seem obvious, the success of your counseling will depend on your commitment level, both individually and as a couple. Even if you are invested in the success of counseling, your partner may doubt its effectiveness or be averse to counseling, and both of you will need to align your efforts before you can expect to have success.
Most often, it's one partner that is the driving force behind seeking counseling. That's fine, and it doesn't necessarily point to a problem. But if the other partner is suspicious or defensive during the counseling process, success will be harder to come by, which can make matters worse if one partner believes that the other hasn't bought in or is actively sabotaging the process. For these reasons and more, it's best if both parties are dedicated and engaged in the help that counseling can bring.

Identify your shared goals.

While most people enter counseling to work on themselves, couples counseling is a shared endeavor. So if you're wondering how to prepare for couples counseling, one of the best things you can do is to discuss relationship goals with your partner. The more you can work out before heading in for counseling, the better, and you just might find through the process that you both are fighting for the same things.
Some questions that can help align your shared goals are:

How can we grow as a couple?
Do we need better ways of addressing conflict?
Could our shows of affection be improved?
Are either of us engaged in abusive behaviors?
Does our listening and empathy for each other need work?

The point isn't to develop an exhaustive list of questions, but to identify areas where the relationship needs improvement -- that's the stuff you'll be working on in couples counseling.

Prioritize comfort and fit when searching for a couples counselor.

Like with all therapy, comfort and fit is a huge component of whether you'll have a breakthrough or a series of uncomfortable sessions. If you or your partner aren't comfortable discussing what you're thinking and feeling, it doesn't matter how else you prepare for couples counseling -- you'll be flirting with failure before you've even started. Instead, come up with a list of questions to help you determine a potential therapist's style and approach, and don't be afraid to ask pointed questions such as whether they've worked with couples that have a similar issue.
Other important considerations include any bios, writings or videos that you can find of a potential therapist. While demeanor, style and how they choose to communicate are important, don't forget to evaluate what they say. Some therapists may advocate a style that doesn't sit right with you and your partner, and no amount of therapy will be able to turn the tide. Either way, once you've found a therapist that appeals to you and your partner, schedule a phone call or consultation to see what the fit looks like. Most offices will provide some kind of complimentary consultation up front, but don't forget to also include a short but separate conversation for each of you -- couples therapy isn't always a group session.

Don't bookend your appointments.

Once you've made the decision and you're ready to book your first couples counseling appointment, don't make the mistake of treating therapy just like any other daily task, especially at the beginning. Plan on your sessions being emotionally draining, which means you won't want to stuff counseling into your lunch break or just before or after something important at work. Before the appointment, you'll want to prepare yourself and think about what you'd like to discuss, and after it's a good idea to unpack, decompress and think about the day's session and what lessons you can learn from it.
As you get further into therapy, how you prepare for couples counseling each day or week might change, but you should always treat it as an investment in your relationship, not something to check off the to-do list. The more seriously you take each and every appointment, the more likely it is that you and your partner will make real strides and improvements in your relationship -- and that's the whole point of it all in the first place, isn't it?

Personal history isn't off limits.

While couples counseling shouldn't be confused with individual counseling, some issues may require the unpacking of individual issues. To be a better partner, you may need to be a better you, and that can include family history, upbringing and other relationships in your life. Sure, the bigger focus will be on you and your partner, but you should be ready to discuss personal history in sessions with your partner or -- if called for -- individually.
That's because your relationships with family and others can provide insight into your current one, even if you're too close to it all and can't see the angle. Previous relationships may also provide insight into how your current relationship is progressing -- after all, we are creatures of habit.

You don't have to hide or tell anyone about your counseling.

Some people see counseling as some kind of admission of defeat. But even strong couples need help from time to time, and no one should ever feel ashamed that they're looking to improve their relationship or themselves. For some people, how to prepare for couples counseling is to close up and not tell anyone. But that's a fear response, and your friends and family should be supportive no matter how you decide to share the work you and your partner are doing.
However, don't feel pressured to tell everyone you know -- or anyone -- about your counseling. That's between you and your partner, and you both should feel free to tell anyone or no one of the decision you've made. That also goes for who your partner chooses to tell. Some people share more while others hold their cards close to their chest. Neither approach is wrong, though you may want to consider the feelings of your partner before you decide to tell mutual friends or others -- that could be a source of discomfort or pain for your partner.

Take the next step with Quick Results Counseling.

If you're ready for couples counseling, Quick Results Counseling is here for you. With in person and online sessions, as well as early and late hours plus weekends, we can help lend our expertise whenever you decide to take that next step. Schedule a free consultation or call us today.

]]><![CDATA[Calming Techniques for Teenagers Every Parent Should Know]]>Tue, 03 Nov 2020 22:19:48 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/calming-techniques-for-teenagers-every-parent-should-know

There are easy calming techniques for teenagers in this article

For most of us, it's been more than a few years since high school. Looking back, you might remember the good times with friends, as well as some moments that you'd just as soon forget. But for children today, high school is a pressure cooker of emotions and responsibilities, and that's before adding social media and the many ways that drama can follow your child home, increasing anxieties and providing no respite in the modern teen's life.
Making matters worse, teens aren't as adept at dealing with stress as adults, which further exacerbates the impact of uncomfortable feelings that may dominate your teen's day. Caused by an emotional response to a situation, upcoming event or some other external stimuli, stress is how the body deals with emotional and physical pressure, and many of our kids are drowning in it.
As adults, we may look back on our teenage years as filled with superfluous worry and drama. But in the moment, teenage stress is every bit as real as more grown-up worries of work, money management and all the other stressors of adult life. And because stress is personal and subjective, it truly may be the case that your teenager is more stressed than you are.

The Causes of Stress
Today, just being a teen is stressful in and of itself. There are the normal commitments of school and extra-curricular activities such as sports or clubs, as well as countless other stressors that may come from home, peers and a desire to do well and succeed. Add on a part-time job and the constant reminder that university and adulthood is just around the corner -- and then there's that worldwide pandemic, social strife and environmental issues that kids today see as inheritable problems down the line.
In all, it's a wonder our kids aren't more stressed. But the real problem is that many of them are. While it may look like your teenager is building confidence and accomplishments, odds are they're stressed and overwhelmed -- and while stress can be good in small doses, helping to drive your child to excel, too much is debilitating, and it may be doing long-term psychological harm.

Identifying Stress
Before seeking out calming techniques for your teenager, it's important to recognize stress when it's present. But because everyone responds differently to stress -- exploding over the smallest things or bottling emotions inside until they spill over, and everything in between -- you can't judge a person's stress level from their actions.
Instead, look for the common manifestations of stress such as headaches, irritability, insomnia or other sleep issues, as well as trouble concentrating and nausea.
While some stress can be good, helping increase our focus and attention when it matters most, too much stress -- especially for teens that lack coping mechanisms and techniques for managing it -- can quickly overwhelm and introduce a sense of despair. Some kids are better at managing their stress, but it goes without saying that no teenager should be stuck with a daily sense of burden.

Calming Techniques for Teenagers
The good news is that with a little bit of work, your teenager can learn calming techniques that will help them manage their daily stress load. Some teens see a marked improvement with a bit of exercise when stress starts to rise, while others do well with an organizational approach to knocking things off the to-do list.
But whatever approach you and your teen take, it's important to set priorities. With a comprehensive plan of attack, your teen will be able to focus on the important stuff first, in addition to the benefit of breaking down more complicated problems into smaller, more easily accomplished tasks.
Another important calming technique for teenagers is to set realistic goals. Instead of encouraging your teen to overreach and fall short, leading to disappointment and more stress, try helping them set more realistic goals that can be achieved. Once they build up a few successes, future stressors may even turn into a drive to get more accomplished
When dealing with stress, it's important for your teenager to acknowledge their feelings. Stress isn't wrong or something to be ashamed of -- we all deal with stress from time to time, and it's important to realize that stress is a natural response to the difficulties of life.
The next calming technique for teenagers is for them to accept and move forward when confronted with an undesirable outcome or situation. No one's perfect, and obsessing about shortcomings and failures can be destructive for overachievers and those that demand perfection from themselves.
But sometimes a situation is simply too much, and prolonged exposure only increases anxiety and stress. In these instances, taking a break can be a great idea. Whether it's going for a walk or bike ride -- or getting creative with a musical instrument or pen and paper -- getting out of the stressful situation allows your teen's mind to unwind and recover, and they just might find that when they return, progress is just around the corner.
Another useful calming technique for stressed teenagers is to get by with a little help from their friends. Instead of shouldering the burden alone, or turning to coping mechanisms such as alcohol, tobacco or other substances, friends can provide the right kind of support to lift your teen above the challenges of adolescent life.
Interestingly enough, while stress is largely personal, stress relief often comes in the form of spending time with others. When your teen helps someone else, be it a friend or family member, they'll feel better about themselves for having helped, and they'll also see how their actions affect how others feel, a key component of empathy.
If all else fails, it's important for your teen to love themselves. If they have a poor or distorted view of who they are, they'll never be able to build a foundation for the difficulties in life. By accepting and loving themselves, including all their unique qualities, they'll discover even more ways to get the best out of themselves and any situation, which will make for a more emotionally healthy teen.

Seek Professional Help
If after applying several calming techniques your teenager is still struggling with stress and hopelessness, they may need professional help. While a certain amount of stress is normal, a feeling of despair or giving up could indicate a more serious issue. By speaking with a professional that can help them organize and sort out their complicated and overwhelming feelings, they'll learn more tools and tricks that will help them cope whenever stress hits.
But it's important to take extra care not to introduce professional help as a last-ditch effort to "fix" things. In this instance, the burden is placed on the child, which can propagate a feeling of inadequacy or disappointment in their struggle with stress. Instead, present professional help as a third-party source of independent assistance, a resource that your teen can leverage to help them cope. After all, your goal is their mental health, not a behavioral modification that makes them easier to deal with.

If you have an overly stressed teen and don't know where to turn, look to the experts at Quick Results Counseling. Unlike never-ending, weekly check-ins that do little except waste time and money, our approach to counseling is that therapy isn't a forever pursuit. Most patients get the help they need in about three to six months, with tools that encourage coping and dealing, not endless chatter about feelings. Contact us today to see how we can help your child develop the emotional toolbox to overcome the challenges of being a teenager today.

]]><![CDATA[Easy Child Anxiety Hacks to Calm Your Kid]]>Tue, 03 Nov 2020 22:11:32 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/child-anxiety-hacks-calming-ideas

Our child anxiety hacks can help strengthen your parenting.

Everyone feels nervous and anxious from time to time, and as adults it’s very easy to dismiss the anxiety our children feel because we tend to look at their situations from the lens of adulthood. Too many times, we tend to see our children encounter stress and think, for example, “Why should my daughter worry so much about what a classmate said about her clothes today? Doesn’t she understand that in the grand scheme of things, this really doesn’t matter at all?” The answer to these thoughts is that no, your child does not understand the big picture, because her “picture” of life is much smaller than those of us who have lived a few decades longer.

Therefore, it’s up to us as parents to recognize the signs of anxiety and to attempt to handle them as soon as they arise. Doing so could help prevent small, daily problems that many children face from developing into serious situations that will ultimately require professional intervention. Quick Results Counseling has been working with children suffering from different forms of anxiety for years, and below we’d like to present some easy and straightforward child anxiety hacks designed to calm your child and help your little one process this stress in as healthy a way as possible.

Signs of Childhood Anxiety
The first step we should take before getting into examples of child anxiety hacks is to examine some of the common warning signs that a child is suffering from this problem in the first place. There is a difference between “ordinary” daily stresses and full-blown or even developing anxiety. A few examples of childhood anxiety include:

Losing sleep
Having regular bad dreams
Not wanting to go to school
Loss of appetite
Irritability
Regular anger
Constant worry
Large number of trips to the bathroom
Refusing to talk about certain topics

Every child is different, but the examples above are common examples of a young person who is experiencing anxiety. The “good” news in this regard is that no one knows your child as well as you, so if your parental instinct tells you that something is wrong in this regard, chances are that you’re correct. If this is the case, you need to take additional steps to help put this problem in the past.

Breathing Exercises
One of the most basic child anxiety hacks is also the most basic human function: breathing. When a child encounters a situation that prompts anxiety, he or she is going to react like many adults in that the child’s breathing will become rapid and shallow. Think about the last time you were extremely nervous – you probably found yourself gasping for breath and feeling your heart pound in your chest. Someone with anxiety experiences this problem often, especially when faced with a triggering event.

If you start to notice this shortness of breath or rapid breathing, take your child aside and speak to him or her in a soothing voice. Ask your child to breathe slowly, counting to three while inhaling and counting to three while exhaling. You could also teach your child to inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. This exercise could help slow your child’s heart rate and help calm the nerves that are firing that are leading to this problem in the first place.

Tell the Story
We are taught from an early age to face our fears, and for the most part that’s a good strategy. It’s also one of the potential child anxiety hacks that you can use if your child is struggling before dealing with a certain situation. If you see this occurring, ask your child to tell the story of what’s happening inside of his or her mind. Ask your child to describe what he or she is feeling, what he or she is seeing and what is causing the fear that he or she is feeling. Once again, it’s important to be as reassuring as possible.

When you hear the story, discuss it calmly and rationally, and don’t make too big a deal out of it. However, be careful not to be dismissive with your tone, either, as that could make the child feel belittled and lead to a bottling up of those emotions and thoughts. If possible, as your child opens up about those fears, make little jokes that prompt laughter in the face of that description, as that will help your child realize that there’s a lighter side to almost anything.

Analyze Together Afterward
Finally, one of the most important child anxiety hacks is to make sure that you take some time to analyze what occurred after your child encounters an anxious situation. Whether your child navigated things successfully or not, discussing the process afterward can help him or her process things and put it all into context. Once again, describing the fears encountered and what specifically led to the internal problems is helpful, and the more this is done the better off things could turn out.

To repeat, though, you need to be careful not to either take too serious or too dismissive a tone, as that could lead to something other than the desired effect. Encourage your child to tell you everything. Congratulate your child if he or she managed to overcome this anxiety and handle the situation, but reassure the child if he or she could not get through things without running from them.

As far as things are concerned for parents, you too should give yourself one of the common child anxiety hacks that’s otherwise known as knowledge. For instance, according to the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or the CDC, approximately 4.4 million children between the ages of 3 and 17 have diagnosed anxiety. That doesn’t even take into account those who have not been diagnosed. In other words, this is a common problem and something that can and often is overcome successfully.

If your child is persistently struggling with anxiety, you should seek professional intervention. You can always feel free to contact Quick Results Counseling for the help you need, and in the meantime we wish you the best with your child anxiety hacks.

]]><![CDATA[Simple Anxiety Management Techniques to Try]]>Wed, 09 Sep 2020 17:17:18 GMThttp://quickresultscounseling.com/blog/simple-anxiety-management-techniques-to-try

When you're feeling anxious, it can seem like the moment won't ever pass. "Just relax" and "breathe" are nice platitudes, but when the fear strikes it can feel like you're spiraling out of control. Whether your heart quickens or a cold sweat overcomes you, or whether it's all just too much to deal with and you need to escape to a safer place, anxiety is a natural response to stress.

We all have different ways of dealing with stressors in our lives. But regardless of what we use to cope, anxiety is a very real aspect of modern day life. You could be triggered by work, problems at home or even worldwide events -- looking at you, Covid-19. However, just because something feels overwhelming doesn't mean it has to take over your life. There are a lot of challenging aspects to navigating day-to-day life, and the first step towards the calm you need to make it work is to get in front of your anxiety before it takes hold.

They're called anxiety management techniques, and utilizing them when you feel your anxiety cresting is a great way to stay composed and in control of your feelings and your interactions with other people. It all starts with identifying your triggers, those things that send you spiraling and in search of some fast relief, giving you a chance at managing an anxiety attack before it takes hold. Still, coping with anxiety is a daily struggle for some, and finding the right coping mechanism is trial-and-error process that can take months to figure out, even with the help of a professional.
But for lesser forms of anxiety, proper anxiety management techniques can help you focus enough to complete your tasks, or at least prevent an issue from quickly escalating into something bigger. Some are thought experiments that are designed to help challenge a damaging train of thought, while others reach the mind through our senses or our body. They're not necessarily successful 100 percent of the time -- what technique is? -- but they can help you wage an in-the-moment challenge before the worry takes hold.

If your anxiety is driven by an upcoming event, encounter or interaction, the good news is that what you're feeling will likely be short-lived and will fade away after the event takes place. If it doesn't, you could be dealing with a longer-term issue, though you may have also misidentified your trigger. But whether you know what's pulling at your psyche, there are various anxiety management techniques that can have you feeling better in short order.

First up -- do a deep dive into why you're feeling this way. Challenge your negative thoughts with positivity and see if you can't shift your perception. It's called questioning your thought pattern, and it can give you new insight into why you're feeling fearful or anxious about something. It can also help to talk to a friend or trusted family member -- as long as they're not one of your triggers, otherwise you could risk the onset of more severe symptoms that could be more difficult to overcome.

Another anxiety management technique is to, yes, breathe. It sounds like a cliché because it is -- but it can really work. With focused, deep breathing where you count out slow, drawn-out breaths over the course of several minutes, you'll actually slow your heart rate, which should help reduce the anxiety you feel. Start by breathing in over the course of four seconds, then breathe out for another four seconds. Repeat this for five minutes or until you start to feel relief. If needed, you can continue deep breathing for as long as you'd like.

Aromatherapy is yet another anxiety management technique that can actually activate certain receptors in your brain, easing your anxiety while giving you a room full of calming scents. Whether you enjoy candles, oils, incense, sage or other herbs, be sure to pick a smell and activity that you can get into. Now's not the time to go for the craziest bit of incense you can find -- go with the comfort and smell of something you're fond of. Lavender, sandalwood and chamomile are common favorites, but take some time to find the right one for you.

If you're feeling overwhelmed like you have a ton of pent up energy, one of the best anxiety management techniques is to go for a walk, hit the gym or settle in for a nice 15 or 20 minutes of yoga. The physical activity will give your body something to do while your mind is focused on the task at hand, and sometimes getting out is better than staying cooped up indoors while you let your feelings fester.

Like our first anxiety management technique, this next technique is about facing the issue head-on. If you're feeling overwhelmed, grab a journal, computer or your favorite way to jot stuff down and just start writing it out. Getting your feelings out on paper or the screen can be a great way to organize your thoughts and to make it all seem a little less daunting. When you write it down and then come back to it later, it can also help contextualize your feelings in the moment, giving you insight into the role that time plays in the battle with anxiety.

Long-Term Anxiety Management Techniques
But if your anxiety is long-lasting or more severe than can be addressed with some anxiety management techniques, you may need more specialized help. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) can be a years-long or a lifetime battle, and the techniques we outlined above may not do the trick when it comes to more severe anxiety and other mental health issues. For more serious anxieties, you'll need to adopt behavioral changes and other things that can help you stay ahead of your anxiety.

One long-term anxiety management technique is cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. CBT combines cognitive therapy and behavioral therapy into one treatment that is designed to address your thoughts and belief systems, as well as your moods and actions. Instead of looking at the outside world and its triggers, CBT asks how you can adapt to the world around you, addressing your problems and developing approaches on how to solve them. At its core, CBT is intended to change a patient's behavior and way of thinking, substituting poor habits with healthier ones.

Daily meditation is another long-term anxiety management technique, and there are various meditation techniques to try if one isn't doing it for you. The important part is to do it regularly, developing a habit of mindful meditation instead of only seeking it out when your anxiety gets the best of you. With regular meditation, you'll eventually train the brain to discard the anxious thoughts during your normal, day-to-day activities or whenever a triggering event competes for your attention.

Diet can also be a long-term anxiety management technique, where poor eating habits are replaced by healthy ones that target certain foods or supplements such as green tea, lemon balm, omega-3 fatty acids, ashwagandha, valerian root, kava kava and dark chocolate. Like with most things, moderation is the key to success, but eating right can have you feeling better and dealing with less anxiety in as little as a few months.

If all else fails, or if your anxiety is increasing and you feel like nothing's working, you may need professional help to keep the anxiety at bay. Here at Quick Results Counseling, we provide Bay Area and online counseling for anxiety and other mental health issues. Unlike the trope of year-after-year counseling, we believe that most clients can be discharged from mental health counseling after 12 to 24 sessions, or three to six months. Book a free, 45-minute consultation call and get started on your path towards an anxiety-free life today.

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