Essential Coping Skills for Kids

Does your kid frequently feel stressed to the point of getting in a bad mood — or worse, having a total mental breakdown?
Well, growing up is tough, but you as a parent can teach them coping strategies to make the process much easier.
In this article, we’ll teach you all about coping skills for kids: what they are, coping skill categories, and how to create a “Calm Down Kit” for your kid to use in a moment of panic.
So, read below and learn all there is to know about healthy coping skills for kids.
And whenever you need professional help, you can reach out to our Bay Area specialists.
Identify and Practice Coping SkillsFirst off, your child needs to learn what a coping skill is. And to learn that, they must identify activities in their day-to-day that act as coping skills.
In short, coping skills can be split into emotion-focused and problem-focused:

• Emotion-focused coping skills soothe strong emotions and make them more tolerable (Example: a gaming session to unwind after a tough day)
  
• Problem-focused coping skills solve issues and are more strategic (Example: a to-do list to organize your child’s homework)
  

As you may have noticed, your kid probably already has solid coping skills. They just don’t identify them as “coping skills” yet!
Talk with your child and ask them what they do to relieve stress, anxiety or depression. List these as emotion-focused coping skills.
Then, ask your kid how they deal with big problems in their lives, such as a school bully or even a tough school project. List these as problem-focused coping skills.
Once you have both lists, you and your kid will know how to identify coping skills! Now all you have to do is put them into practice.
This can be done by filtering the list and picking out the most effective and healthy coping skills. For example, going for a walk is a healthier coping skill than eating fast food.
It’s important for you to help your kid build up positive coping methods and toss out the unhealthy ones.
My Personal Coping Skills ListWe talked earlier about making two coping skills lists with your kid: one for emotion-focused and the other for problem-focused.
Now this is the next step: your kid needs to make their personal coping skills list. Here you can act as a guide, but it has to be their own work.
Let your kid decide their own set of personal coping tools that will help them navigate through life’s problems. It’ll be their resource to check out in a time of stress, anxiety or depression.
It can be printed out and pinned up in their room or even just a simple list in their phone’s notepad. The important thing is that your kid carries this resource with them and consults it whenever they need it.
Create a Calm Down KitNow let’s delve deeper into coping skills territory.
A Calm Down Kit works as an emergency toolbox. Think of it as a mechanic’s trusty toolbox, an asset that helps them solve any issue they face in their workday. Or even as a doctor’s emergency kit, ready to help out patients in need.
A Calm Down Kit will be a summarized list of coping skills your kid knows to put into action whenever a breakdown is imminent. It’s a quick fix to avoid a major issue.
For some people, deep breathing for 10 seconds is a classic, no-brainer coping skill to avoid a total meltdown.
Your kid will know what to do in a time of severe stress thanks to their Calm Down Kit. All you need to do as a parent is help them define what coping skills to include in the kit.
It’s got to be short and sweet, up to 3 coping skills max. The fewer choices to make in a time of need, the better (this avoids choice anxiety).
Then, your kid can write down the coping skills of their kit on a piece of paper or a phone notepad. This creates a feeling of “possession” of the Calm Down Kit, which also soothes your child — they’ll know that the kit’s there, ready to be used at all times.
After a while, your kid will have memorized the coping skills of the Calm Down Kit, which means they have fully mastered what to do whenever in a stressful or problematic situation.
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The Importance of Being ProactiveProactivity means to take action beforehand. In this case, it means planning ahead what coping methods to employ whenever a problem or stressful event is predicted.
For example, let’s say your kid gets anxious with math class. Math class is a predictable event: it has a time and place to happen.
That means your kid can plan beforehand what coping skill to employ to make math more tolerable, instead of ruminating or becoming anxious before class even starts.
Proactive coping skills are the path to mastering stress, anxiety or depression in a kid’s life. Instead of being reactive, they are proactive. They arrive prepared for the problem, instead of tackling it afterward.
It’s like a firefighter fireproofing a house instead of arriving quickly to douse the flames. Your kid will make problems easier by employing the correct coping skills beforehand.
But what’s the difference between proactive coping skills and the Calm Down Kit? The difference is that proactive coping skills avoid a problem from arising, while the Calm Down Kit contains quick fixes to avoid mental breakdowns.
So, that means a proactive kid will have fewer problems in their day-to-day with crippling emotions. Problems are a part of life, but it’s important your kid learns how to navigate them with the best coping skills available.
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