 Choosing the right Bay Area therapist is more than just pulling up some profiles online and picking from the local options. After all, it's important that you're comfortable in your sessions, that you're committed to the process and that you're open and willing to work with your therapist. Therapy often involves discussing sensitive issues, and possibly even things that you've never told anyone else before, so your comfort level can play a big role in the success of your therapy sessions. Not only do you need to find a therapist that you can share your thoughts and feelings with, but you'll also need to find someone that you'll listen to, as well. And with so much at stake, that search for the perfect Bay Area therapist can seem overwhelming. It's hard to make a decision based on a picture and a short bio, and with countless options online, that search could take forever. But the good news is that you don't have to find the perfect therapist -- just one that resonates with you. Finding a Bay Area Therapist Whether it's been suggested that you see a therapist or you've identified some issues that you want to work on, finding a therapist can be a challenging endeavor. Some people may click immediately with their new therapist while others may take some time to warm up to the process. Then there are the recommendations that you may receive from family or friends -- however, your issues are unique and whether or not someone had success with a given Bay Area therapist says little about whether your experience would be the same. Regardless of how great a therapist is and what they've done for others, you'll still have to click with your therapist. The connection between you and your therapist is important, and the more comfortable you feel discussing and listening, the more you'll get out of your therapy sessions. Indeed, the stronger the relationship between you and your therapist, the better it is for everyone involved. The Power of Goal Alignment Beyond the connection to your therapist, you'll also want to ensure that you and your therapist are aligned on goals and methodologies. If you're expecting to have a few sessions and then move on with your life, that won't work if your therapist wants you to come in three times a week for years. You may go with it at first, but in the long run your suspicions about the approach can sour the process, even if it may eventually end up being helpful. Generally, both the therapist and patient need to respect and like each other. You'll be spending quite a bit of time together discussing your life, emotions and relationships, and that's infinitely more difficult when one or both sides isn't invested in treatment. In fact, the American Psychological Association found that the success of therapy is based more on the therapeutic relationship than the type of therapy practiced, which means the who matters a lot more than the what, though we'd be remiss if we didn't mention that it all matters to some degree. Ideally, it's the therapist's job to monitor interactions and to determine whether things are going well, though patients should feel free to voice their concerns at any time. What's Important to You? If certain factors are important -- such as gender, age, race or religion -- you'll want to incorporate that into your search for a Bay Area therapist. If you would feel uncomfortable with a therapist from the opposite sex, or someone that is significantly younger or older than you, it's important to acknowledge that in your search. Some patients may even try to envision the type of person that they would want to talk to, using that to guide their search. But if you don't have a preference, that's fine, too. Many therapists will provide a complimentary discovery call to see if there's a good fit. In it, you're free to ask any questions about approach or background -- whatever helps you make a decision. There's usually some kind of questionnaire where you can indicate what's important to you, or you can bring it up during that call. If the therapist that you were assigned to ends up not working out -- don't fret! You can often get a quick referral to one of their colleagues, or you're free to start your search again if you'd like to go in a different direction. The Importance of Credentials Finding a Bay Area therapist can be confusing if you're not up to date on what those letters and acronyms mean after each name. You don't need to be an expert on the different mental health accreditations, but knowing what each one stands for can help you during your search. Here are some common credentials that you may come across:
In addition to a licensing test, a therapist must also pass a background test, meet certain obligations and keep up with their continuing education. But the real value to you as a patient is their area of expertise. Their bio should give you insight into the kinds of issues and approaches they work with, though it can be a good idea to follow up once you have them on the phone. The Quick Results Counseling Way Here at Quick Results Counseling, we believe that everyone deserves compassion and empathy in mental health treatment. Whether you've avoided therapy because of difficulty in finding the right Bay Area therapist or you're worried that cultural, racial, ethnic, religious or sexual diversity may make it hard to get the help you need, we're here for you. We believe that effective therapy is about getting to the root of the matter -- not checking in endlessly about the minutia of the previous week. See how our Bay Area therapists can help you by scheduling a free 30 minutes phone consultation.
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 Every relationship needs work. Sometimes things are great. Sometimes they're decidedly less so. But the ebbs and flows are a normal part of healthy relationships, and you're bound to hit rocky roads at some point. The important thing is to talk it out and not let those lingering issues fester. Besides, the more you talk, the more you'll understand where your partner is coming from, as well as what you might be able to do to help so that you can have a happier, more fulfilling relationship with your better half.
But that doesn't mean blowing up at the slightest issue. There are constructive and harmful ways to communicate with your partner, and for any of it to work, you'll both have to work at it. That means listening in addition to speaking your mind, and knowing when you may need the mediating professionalism of a relationship counselor. Some couples are great at communicating while others may need a third party to ensure that each side gets their say, but regardless of where you sit, here's some good relationship advice to bring to the table. Don't Be a Pushover Some people believe that not rocking the boat is the most important part of being in a long-term relationship. But if you don't speak your mind, your partner may take you for granted or think that you're okay with how things are going. If you're not, that could lead to an abusive dynamic where only the needs of one is considered. Over the long haul, it could also mean growing apart instead of growing together, which is exactly the opposite of what you're trying to do by going with the flow. By speaking your mind and speaking up when something bothers you, you'll be asserting yourself in your relationship, and that can do wonders for a strong and balanced relationship dynamic. Be Aware of Relationship Patterns Good relationship advice is more than just communicating more and speaking your mind. Many couples may have the same fight over and over, albeit under different situations, because of common patterns that we fall into. Sometimes it can be an attempt to test boundaries or to see if something different may pan out this time around, but until you can identify the traps of patterned behavior, you may be doomed to repeat it. The good news is that if you're both on the lookout for patterns, you can use that to increase your understanding and growth, and to work with your partner to move beyond it. Closeness Is Not Intimacy Many people may confuse closeness with intimacy, but they're not the same thing. Closeness speaks to your comfort level with your partner and how secure and familiar the relationship is. For the most part, closeness is also largely unspoken. Intimacy, on the other hand, is almost the opposite. It's about being in the moment, spontaneity, taking new risks and surprising your partner with new and exciting things to do and experience together. A relationship with all intimacy and no closeness -- as well as all closeness and no intimacy -- is not a sustainable and strong relationship. Good relationship advice dictates that there should be a healthy balance of closeness and intimacy, which is something all couples should strive for. Be Compassionate, Not Confrontational It's inevitable that you and your partner will have disagreements from time to time. You might even seriously hurt your partner's feelings or vice versa. But if something like that should happen, one piece of good relationship advice is that you should approach any argument or disagreement with empathy and compassion. When your partner sees that you understand where they're coming from and your role in it all, you'll be able to get beyond the issue and overcome feelings of resentment by replacing them with a stronger bond. That can help repair the relationship in a less-than-ideal situation, and the bridges that you build with your partner will strengthen the relationship. It's Okay To Be Angry, but Don't Lash Out Some couples may elect to stuff that anger deep down inside, never confronting the issues that are jeopardizing their relationship. But it's okay to be angry. Use that anger to make positive changes in your life or your relationship. After determining what's wrong, you can then identify what needs to change and how you can bring about that change. If it's something that your partner's doing, talk it out. If it's something that your partner wouldn't want you to do, tell them, and talk about the double standard. If you lash out or direct your anger at your partner, you'll likely only be driving them away, which will make it harder to have that conversation and move past it in the first place. Embrace Your Partner (Literally and Figuratively) With everything that you and your partner have on your plates these days, it can be difficult to slow things down and take a minute for your relationship. A simple hug or some dedicated time where you and your partner can spend some time together can do wonders for a relationship. Despite our best intentions, it's too easy to not give your partner the attention that they deserve, though it's not hard to take time out of the day to invest in your relationship. Whether your partner just needs a hug or some quality time together, it's always great to feel love, and it can help you nurture your relationship, especially if your better half is feeling scorned or unloved. Dedicate Time to the Tough Discussions If you're trying to have that big, knock-down and drag-out fight when your partner is on the way out to work or as you're driving home -- there's no point. You'll never be able to say all the things you want to say, and the only thing you'll do is create a sense of animosity or resentment for the timing of it all. Instead, a piece of good relationship advice is to make time for those important discussions. Or, if a discussion you're having is running long and either you or your partner have to be somewhere else, you can always pause the discussion for picking up later. That way you can move past the argument and get back to life and return when the timing works. --- If you've been having more arguments and disagreements with your partner lately and you're falling into the same patterns, you may need the good relationship advice of a professional. Book an in-person or online appointment today and get a free, 45-minute consultation call. |
Dr. Jayn Psy.D.CEO of a San Francisco Bay Area group practice. She specializes in trauma treatment in adults and children Archives
May 2021
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